Hilmi, a solid, dark tan man with a textured crop haircut grabs another tall glass of fairly priced, regular beer at the usual local bar. He waddles back to a booth through the thick smell of liquor and cigarettes, passing the chatter from clutters of people at other booths and tables. “Every day is the same long drag.” Hilmi scrolls through his newly upgraded phone. He scrunches his face. His grip around his glass tightened. “Pssh! Following your dreams. Imagine living like that. Anyone who believes them is naive. Hmph. I wish this life is a dream, because in the real world, dreams don’t come true.”

“Hilmi is that you!” Hilmi drags his eyes above the screen, then lifts his head.

“Oh boy”, Hilmi rolls his eyes, “here comes the new co-worker”. A short, lean, light khaki colored man walks towards him

“Hey Hilmi. Nice to see you out of the office for once. It seems like we have never met in a casual setting.” 

“That’s because we never did. I don’t want to be reminded of work.”, he thought while sipping his drink. “Lior, right? What’s up?”, he said out loud.

“Excuse me, do y’all have hard cider. Yes. Apple. Thank you.” Lior turns back to Hilmi. “Hey, I’m just here taking some time out of the house. Do you mind if I join you?” 

“Ugh. I mean, I could use a little company right now.”, he pondered. “There is enough space for the both of us”, he said as Lior sat opposite him before he could finish his sentence.

“Ahh. You’re right about the space.” Lior chuckles. “So, what brings you here tonight?” Hilmi grumbles, looking off to the side. “What?”

“Oh. I said drinking.”

“I can see that.”

“I mean—” Hilmi’s head tilts up. “I’m drinking my week away, again. My usual crew is … somewhere doing something stupid, I don’t know. I just want to drink. I need some time to myself, to think.” Lior eyebrows raise.

“I can leave if—”

“No no no, i-it’s fine.” Hilmi head droops down. “It’s … I was just watching a couple of videos, and it got me thinking you know. There are people out there talking about following your dreams, and having a bunch of huge, unrealistic, childish, goals. As if that’s going to pay their current bills on time. Pssh!”

“Maybe they’re ambitious. Nothing wrong with—”

“No, let me explain. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, you’re going to do the same thing for the rest of your life.” Hilmi elbows land on the table with a thump. He interlocks his fingers and rests his head on them. “I have been working at this branch for a few years now. If I knew life would be this dreary, I wouldn’t have rushed my childhood. My life is teeming with—” he narrows his eyes— “dullness. Not everyone is going to excel doing big, adventurous, flashy things, and live an abounding life, it’s … unrealistic. Let’s be honest. Most people are going to end up like us, miserable.” Lior raises an eyebrow with his face slightly turned away from him. “I wake up. Get ready for work, go to work, then my day starts. I do basically the same things day after day. Then after the shift, I go home tired and empty. I guess following your dreams will get rid of that feeling. But that’s it.” Hilmi thumps his elbow on the light brown wooden table again. “They’re dreams, not reality. Why waste your time.” Lior opens his mouth with his finger raised— “Let me paint a bland picture.”, Hilmi interrupted.

Hilmi takes a small sip. “

When I reach the office, I pass the same non-ticking, brown clock by the hall corridor. Next, I sit between the bluish-gray walls of my nearly enclosed cubicle. My eyes glued to the screen, fingers typing, and my mouse clicking after each minute. I completed a few forms. Many are still pending. An hour or two would barely pass by. I then take a trip to the printer. Moments later, a small chat by the watercooler about other people with a life better than ours.” Hilmi takes another sip of his beer. “Subsequently, my face is placed back at the front of the screen. My mind wanders away while I stay stationary. At this time, the boss walks around, monitoring everything in line of sight. Acting productively is what I do. Shortly afterwards, there is a mandatory meeting I have to attend. I would listen, write notes, agree to disagree, then agree to avoid unemployment. Eventually, I’m back to my assigned computer.” He takes another sip and sighs. Lior’s eyes dart side to side. “The sound of keys from many keyboards typing echoes throughout the floor. Including mines. I sometimes find myself staring at the gray wall. Until I have to deal with customers who are always shouting at me. I attempt to help them while trying to stay professional.” Hilmi looks up for a split second. “These people are so, ugh!” He takes a long sip of his drink. “When I’m done with them, lunch is ingest. It’s usually something that I bought. Nothing new there.” With exaggerated head movement, Hilmi says, “Back to the computer I go. My eyes digest the blue light, my mouse clicks after each minute, after every form. Then the little clock on my desk strikes near five. My things are packed up and ready to go. As soon as the double zeros appear behind the five on my phone’s clock, I go home. There, I eat, stare at another screen, and sleep. Following that, I wake up, eat if I have time, go to work and repeat the day.” The tall, thin, fair colored waitress slowly handed Lior his drink with a lingering smile and eye contact. Lior grins at his icy, cool drink. Hilmi sneers at the waitresses, then Lior.

“See—” Hilmi removes one of his hands, nearly causing him to hit his head on the table. With exaggerated hand movement he continues, “dreams are for the naive. Good things aren’t handed to you with a smile. The world didn’t become round because of a dream. It is round because someone went into space, looked at it, then received a paycheck when they came back to earth.” Hilmi pulls the collar of his shirt forward a few times with his finger. “Phew! It’s-it’s getting a bit hot”. Hilmi holds his head up with his hands placed on the sides of his head, with a frown.

“I repeat the … uh, that procedure again. I repeat it every weekday, until the weekend comes. My week— my weekends is me, sleep during the day. Then for the rest of that day until the next, I try ways to distract myself from my … dreamless, adult life!” He said with a scowl. His face immediately relaxes as he sips a bit more of his beer. “You know a little alcohol can do the trick.” Hilmi winks at Lior. Lior slowly shakes his head with pursed lips. Hilmi chuckles as his head starts to sway. He continues with slightly slurred speech. “Anyway, I … I-I would wake up next morning feeling ill. Head throbbing. stomach aching. I’ll eat anything that I find in the apartment, or just order take out. My eyes … eyes are, uh. Are attached to the screen. After many hours, I doze off for a while. I wake up, on-only to distract myself for a bit.” Hilmi looks up and begins to smile excessively while wobbling his head vigorously. “Oh boy, life is great, … its-its awesome. It doesn’t need fulfillment, th-that’s stupid.” He looks back down at his drink, swaying as his smile droops off. “I start … start the house chores that I forgot to-to do during the week. Then, I go to sleep late. I wake up, eat if I have time, go to work, an-an-and repeat that, every weekend!

“I … I, uh. I repeat that. I repeat that week three more times.” Hilmi laughs with one hand holding his forehead back. Lior looks at him while taking a long sip of his drink. “At the end of the month I receive a paycheck. I-I smile at my bank account, pay the bills, then … I find myself frowning at that bank account. It goes ignored un-until my next paycheck. See! Dreams … dreams are childish. Happiness is f-for children.” Hilmi looks up with a twisted expression. “Fulfillment, is childlike?” He looks back at Lior with exaggerated head movement and a sneer. “Fulfillment is for the naive. I received a paycheck b-because uh … because i didn't waste time chasing after a dream of a stupid unrealistic lifestyle.  If I sit down and dream, who will … wh-wh-who will pay the water bills? Wh-who will pay the electrical bills, pay for the gas, pay for the … the food, pay for the lack of fulfillment— uh … what? Uh, wh-who will pay off the debts? Who will pay back the bank for the loans? Who will pay off the credit cards? Who will pay the monthly fees?” Hilmi slams his hands on the table, his head immediately drops, nearly hitting the table. He begins to laugh. “Oh! oh! oh my … dreams, dreams don’t pay bills. Dreams d-don’t make the world round. Paychecks … the paychecks make my world round.” He takes deep breaths while holding his forehead with one hand, and eyes closed. “P-paycheck pays me— my bills, paycheck is-is— is the adult thing to chase after. The money … That’s what’s important.” Lior drinks some more of his drink, looking up and off to the side. 

“Hmm. Interesting thought.” 

“The world didn’t become round because of a dream, it’s round because someone went into space, then received a paycheck. I received a paycheck—” Hilmi interlocks his finger with his forearms sitting up on his elbows resting on the table. He tries to rest his head on his fingers a few times before getting it— “I-I helped this world become round. Pssh! Who-who needs dreams? Life is great, life uh … um awesome. It’s awesome. It does-doesn’t need fulfillment. Th-that’s stupid, right?” Hilmi, looks down at his beer with a forlong expression. He takes a sip, then chuckles a little. Lior looks away for a quick second with widened eyes. “Yes, yes it is. A-adults … adults only dream when they’re asleep. I-I dream. I have dreams w-when I sleep. I lay my head to rest in peace. Only then, I can live in a dream.” Hilmi looks down and off to the side with his eyebrows raised slightly, and the corner of his lips barely bent. “B-but for now, my fingers must type. I-I must click my mouse at each minute …umm e-each form. My face must be placed back at-at-at the front of the screen. My mind … wanders away while I stay stationary. I, uh. Uh, I must act … productively, then go to a meeting. I listen, write, a-a-agree to everything to prevent unemployment. I must talk to—” he narrows eye for a second— “obstreperous clients. I must help these incompetent customers w-with their dumb issues!” Hilmi slaps the palms of his hands on the table, nearly hitting his head again. Lior jumps, and spills some of his drink. “I … I try not to lose my cool, an-and my professionalism. I really do! … Then, I’ll e-eat a miserable lunch.” Hilmi scratches the table with his short nails as he slides his hands down into his lap. He rocks back and forward. He stares at his drink, then bleaches. “I dr-drag myself back t-to the uh, computer. Wait until five. Afterwards, I’ll go to a messy home, e-eat sloppy food, stare … um stare at my broken screen, eventually sleep b-but barely. I’ll-I’ll wake up aching, e-eat if I have time, go to the— go to the work— go to work and, repeat that four more times. The uh … weekend will come, s-so I’ll sleep, mostly, a-and ways to distract myself from th-this … humdrum reality!” He slowly takes a sip. The waitress from before cleans Lior’s side of the table, dilatorily and a bit too closely. Lior presses his back into the black leather of the booth seat. “Haa! The next morning, I’ll feel sick. M-my head … throb, my stomach will ache, I might vomit. I-I’ll eat anything I find i-in my barren apartment, or-or-or order cheap take-out. My eyes will be glued to, uh to the, too-bright screen until uh… I nap. I-in time, I’ll wake up again, distract myself once more. My dreadful life is great! M-my anguished life is-is awesome, and you know why. It’s because I pay my bills and have my own roof. I don’t need fulfillment, that is … stupid.” He leans his head opposite from the direction he’s looking at. He emits a long weary sigh. Lior sneers at the lingering waitress. “I’ll do more-more overwhelming house chores that I um … that I forgot to do during the week, then go to sleep late. R-repeat my tedious week for the, uh … f-four times, an-an-and receive a paycheck after that month. I‘ll smile— smile a-at my bank account. Pay my bills. Then frown at that … that desolate bank account. I-I’ll ignore it until the next— um the next thing … paycheck, a-as usual. My world is just a cycle! A cycle of me receiving a paycheck. Is this … th-this is the adult thing to do … right? Why am I not happy? Should I be happy? This is … life?”

“Look here woman! I am married, so leave me alone!”, Lior shouted. Hilmi immediately sneers and sits up at the edge of his seat. He slams his drink on the table. 

“I’m not a woman! A-and don’t want to marry you! I … I barely know you!”, Hilmi shouted, shrugging his shoulders.

“What?” Lior raises an eyebrow. “I wasn’t meaning you. I meant that damn waitress over there.” Lior points at the sneering woman.

“W-what…y-you don’t want to marry me no more?” Hilmi looks over to where Lior is pointing. “Oh her. D-don’t … do not marry her. She’s the bar’s public plaything”. Hilmi sits back with a long face. “She’s all used up.”

Lior takes another sip. He looks at Hilmi. Lior takes a deep breath and exhales through his pressed lips. 

“I was listening”. Hilmi drags his eye to meet him, for a moment. “I mean yeah, that’s just life … for some people. Being honest here, not everyone is going to follow their dreams. Especially if they all are thinking like you. You're so full of negativity man.” Lior said. He sways his head at Hilmi. “Following your dreams is always easier said than done. It does require sacrifices. Maybe even bankruptcy. It’s all about who is going to keep afloat while they're melting in a glass of a nice cool drink, instead of melting in a small gray bucket behind the counter. You can either be a part of something different and new, or just become a puddle of easily replaced water. Whatever makes you happy, makes you happy. Just do whatever you have to do with as much knowledge as you can acquire.” Lior said, swirling the ice inside of his glass mug. “Besides, not everyone wants to be big and—” Lior rolls his eyes— “change the world, doing luxuriant things.” Hilmi looks at him with the corner of his nose raised and squinted eyes.

“W-we work at this … same dead-end job! Why aren’t you full of negativity? We’re probably going to do this for the rest of our life.” Lior smirks then looks down at his drink.

“Not everyone is into that flashy, fancy, ostentatious lifestyle. I for one like the monotone life.” He looks back at Hilmi whose eyebrows are raised with his mouth slightly twisted. “I know what comes next and what to expect. This career is perfect for me. Besides, there is more to life than work, even though it’s a big part of our life, whether you want to acknowledge that or not. We only work to pay bills. We can do other things that can make life more exciting, more comfortable. Like for me, it’s my family. I always wanted a perfect family. A nice simple life with nothing much going on to get out of control. Then there is my hobby. I collect rare coins. Love it. Everytime I find the right coin the value goes up. It keeps me going. Nothing is wrong with a simple life.” Lior leans his head to the side and looks up. “If you can’t get your dream job, at least get a dream personal life, am I right.” He chuckles and looks back at Hilmi. “That’s what I did … well not really. I didn’t have my mind set on a dream career. But, I turned out fine anyway. I don’t mind working for this company, the pay is better. As long as my bills are paid, my debt is shrinking, my family is happy, and I can keep my hobby, life is a dream. Well rounded and complete. That’s how I keep my negativity levels down.” Lior looks down at his drink with a smirk. “Oh, looks like my glass is half empty. Should I get another drink—” Hilmi head crashes on to the table. “Are you alright man?” Hilmi responded with an even more slurred speech.

“Yeah. I-I think I have enough of uh … beer. M-my glass is still half full”.